It’s been one of those days.
You know the ones. The ones where everything is just a bit off kilter.
Ya. It’s been one of those.
The kind of day where I fought again with an old nemesis in my spiritual life and made bad decisions – the kind I knew were bad and made anyway. The kind of day that ultimately drives me to my knees all over again (and makes the idea of the confession part of becoming Catholic less intimidating and more appealing for the tangible catharsis of speaking this particular burden out loud before Christ’s representative.)
The kind of day where I putter around and avoid big questions and steps forward in this journey.
And the kind of day where I dive head first into other big questions, and find that they only turn up more questions. Questions like, “What on earth am I going to do if my baptismal certificate doesn’t have the needed information for RCIA etc. on it? I’m not looking forward to asking my dad (who is also the pastor who baptized me) for a different certificate or to talk with a Catholic representative about me joining the church.” and “What is the information that needs to be on that certificate? I think mine just says the date and stuff.”
The kind of day where I start thinking about the ten days of “staycation” of sorts that I’m embarking on tomorrow – house sitting for my brother and his wife, to escape the dungeon of grandma’s basement where I currently reside. About how I need to use that time as part escape and part retreat – to take advantage of this brief time off from school to dig into this journey again and spend time praying as I prepare to start the RCIA process in the fall, and to break the news to my very evangelical family that I’m planning to join the Catholic church.
The kind of day where I think about how I should eat healthy, and then do the opposite, and then feel grumpy because I feel gross from eating things I know I’m either allergic or have sensitivities to.
The kind of day where I essentially accomplish nothing, and I feel it. Where even the rest I gained is marred by some of the other poor choices and battles from other parts of the day.
It’s been one of those days. The kind of day where I think of one of my favorite L.M. Montgomery quotes, via Anne Shirley, “Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet.” Hallelujah for that! After a day like this I’m left with prayers of confession and prayers of gratitude for mercies that are new every morning.